How to Be Confident When You Have Nothing to Be Confident About
Because apparently confidence is back-ordered and your self-esteem is still in processing
Everyone’s searching “how to be confident” like it’s a vitamin you can buy at CVS. Here’s the unfuckable truth.
Confidence isn’t a feeling. It’s a behavior you fake until your brain catches up. You think Beyoncé woke up flawless? She woke up human, put on a costume, and performed confidence until it stuck. The difference between you and her isn’t talent. It’s that she did it scared while you’re still waiting to feel ready.
Here’s the satirical truth: Your imposter syndrome is boring. Everyone has it. That voice in your head that says “who do you think you are” is not unique. It’s not profound. It’s the same voice in every single person’s head at every single meeting, audition, first date, and job interview. The only difference? Some people put on the costume anyway.
I once stood in a gallery next to my own art — Pittsburgh Mayor’s office, Paramount+ backdrop, the whole thing — and thought “they’re going to find out I’m a fraud any second now.” The security guard asked if I was lost. I said “no, I’m the artist.” He looked at me like I was lying. I almost agreed with him. That’s the game. You play the part until the part plays you.
The self-help industrial complex wants you to believe confidence comes from affirmations in the mirror and journaling your feelings. Meanwhile, the people actually winning are just doing the thing while their hands shake. They’re not confident. They’re committed. There’s a difference.
You don’t need to believe in yourself. You need to believe in the costume. The mask becomes the face. The performance becomes the person. That’s not fake-it-till-you-make-it. That’s just how humans work.
The Unfuckable 5 (Eccentric Edition):
1. The Reverse Peacock. Wear one outrageous thing — neon socks, vintage brooch, whatever — and let people assume you’re interesting. The assumption becomes the reality.
2. Memorize your own obituary. Write it now. The life you want, not the one you have. Read it before scary things. You’re already dead in one timeline. This one is bonus.
3. Adopt a ridiculous handshake. Not a firm grip — a secret society nonsense thing. People will remember you. Being remembered feels like confidence.
4. Keep a “rejection resume.” List every no, every failure, every “we went another direction.” It’s proof you’re in the arena. Most people aren’t.
5. Speak in questions that aren’t questions. “You see the problem here.” Not “do you see?” State. Don’t ask. Authority is a syntax choice.
Today’s Fuckcabulary Word: Fuckfident
Fuckfident — Fuck + Confident = The state of acting like you belong somewhere while internally screaming, until eventually you actually do.
The Daily Fuckcabulary — presented by Unfuckable, Inc.
©️Hawsé Sumi